Growing up angry 2

When I was young my mother walked out on my family. Leaving my younger sister and I in the hands of an alcoholic father that was verbally abusive. Growing up in this environment made me feel angry all the time.  I was rough while playing on the playground with other kids  because to me that was how I could make others feel the way I felt on the inside (cold, vulnerable, scared and angry). This made me feel better in some sort of way. As time went on I became angrier and angrier and I didn’t know what to do so drugs became my outlet I would smoke pot and drink beer because I thought that would cure my pain I felt When in reality I was becoming the one person I did not want to be, my father. when I noticed that I was starting to become my father I wanted to make changes but at that point it was too late, or so I thought.

One day a friend asked me to go join his rugby team. At first I was like what the heck is rugby ? He said just come out to one of the practices and you’ll see. So I agreed and went to the practice. When I got there I saw how hard they were tackling each other and in my mind I was like sweet more ways for me to hurt people. That was my mentality going into rugby, I was rough and ruthless I broke other players bones I felt unstoppable. As time went on I kept hurting others but I would also hurt myself in the process. I decided that I would ease up and tackle smarter and that is exactly what I did. Now it wasn’t the thrill of hurting people but the thrill of making game saving tackles. Time went on and after rugby I started playing football another contact sport that I fell in love with because I could hit hard and not really worry because the pads protected me. Then the unthinkable happened I tore my ACL. I felt useless and like a waste of space because I couldn’t do anything to let out my frustration all I could do was my Physical therapy and hope that I could be on the field again with my teammates. I do PT and 11 months later I am on the field again. But then tragedy strikes again, I tore my ACL a second time. After the second ACL tear I decided It wouldn’t stop me from working out all I could was upper body so that’s exactly what I did. But still my anger is what drove me, I was angry with myself for tearing my ACL  a second time I was mad I couldn’t share the field with my team I was essentially just mad at the world. Finally after 2 years I am able to play with my team again. After football ended I once again felt lost and my only way to feel that way was but lifting weights. Lifting weights was what kept me on the right track it helped me focus and it helped me channel my anger into something positive. if it weren’t for lifting I don’t know where I’d be in life if m being honest it changed my life.

I feel like all that anger I felt through all my childhood and adolescence made me into who I am today I am now more understanding and more patient and level headed. When I look back and reflect on all this it makes me realize that I could’ve done so much to prevent all the dumb decisions I made. It also makes me realize that I’m am just human and I will always make mistakes because I am not perfect nor will I ever pretend to be. If my story helps you out in any sort of way Or if you have any question don’t be afraid to leave a comment.

Last but not least I want to Thank Vinny and Jared for letting me be part of this Amazing Movement and for letting me be part of the Rep Your Max Fam. I pray this company goes farther than you’ve ever imagined.

Thank you,

Joaquin Villegas Jr